I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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