Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
