I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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