Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (792) Good night (8066) Bad night (111770)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies

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  (609): not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies http://tfl.nu/jxw6
  Replies (15) Good night (1382) Bad night (2936)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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  (312): My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger. http://tfl.nu/m23s
  Replies (10) Good night (926) Bad night (4909)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes

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  (801): Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes http://tfl.nu/lgb8
  Replies (4) Good night (4162) Bad night (1038)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.

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  (952): I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing. http://tfl.nu/jvox
  Replies (25) Good night (1748) Bad night (3665)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture

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  (928): Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture http://tfl.nu/vg21
  Replies (3) Good night (1773) Bad night (1172)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.

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  (616): I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood. http://tfl.nu/i8nf
  Replies (9) Good night (4784) Bad night (1118)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.

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  (336): I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella. http://tfl.nu/lhln
  Replies (10) Good night (3948) Bad night (919)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.

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  (917): She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for. http://tfl.nu/k05b
  Replies (7) Good night (3783) Bad night (731)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me

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  (630): Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me http://tfl.nu/sh43
  Replies (7) Good night (1081) Bad night (512)
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  (714): View more from California

  Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.

  (951): View more from California

  Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.

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  (714): Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate. (951): Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day. http://tfl.nu/xq5q
  Replies (6) Good night (1373) Bad night (443)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"

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  (774): Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be" http://tfl.nu/8qrq
  Replies (0) Good night (635) Bad night (326)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.

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  (402): I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween. http://tfl.nu/gen2
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (343)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.

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  (937): My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right. http://tfl.nu/7bat
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (387)
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  (707): View more from California

  I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.

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  (707): I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town. http://tfl.nu/lgoh
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (284)

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