I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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