Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur

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  (410): she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur http://tfl.nu/hhzt
  Replies (36) Good night (11889) Bad night (728)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.

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  (913): The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight. http://tfl.nu/vdus
  Replies (1) Good night (1061) Bad night (2144)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.

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  (412): Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country. http://tfl.nu/04vq
  Replies (18) Good night (5771) Bad night (856)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.

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  (480): this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking. http://tfl.nu/0htm
  Replies (7) Good night (4228) Bad night (992)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment

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  (505): so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment http://tfl.nu/9rz9
  Replies (9) Good night (4958) Bad night (1882)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?

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  (815): Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/an2z
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (1506)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

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  (519): I wish they made people sized litter boxes. http://tfl.nu/qgr4
  Replies (11) Good night (657) Bad night (1533)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands

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  (360): you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands http://tfl.nu/td11
  Replies (5) Good night (1485) Bad night (481)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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  (360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5
  Replies (3) Good night (1823) Bad night (514)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.

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  (717): I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild. http://tfl.nu/q7pb
  Replies (4) Good night (1516) Bad night (497)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  "Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"

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  (417): "Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day" http://tfl.nu/txdy
  Replies (8) Good night (1748) Bad night (470)
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  (916): View more from California

  I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want

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  (916): I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want http://tfl.nu/luqp
  Replies (7) Good night (1040) Bad night (419)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?

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  (506): He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that? http://tfl.nu/rfrq
  Replies (3) Good night (844) Bad night (366)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"

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  (518): I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories" http://tfl.nu/in2x
  Replies (5) Good night (528) Bad night (292)
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  (805): View more from California

  Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos

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  (805): Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos http://tfl.nu/h45n
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (256)

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