barbara walters just said penis...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize