all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.