So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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