my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.