Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
