I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
