i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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