I am puke
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm too high and old for this...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
