Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
