Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
