I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
