i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
