thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
