Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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