He is an equal opportunity slut.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
