porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
