Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
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Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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