So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
