sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
