I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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