I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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