thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
