I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
