The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
