i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I need moral support for this bender
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
