Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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