why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
