We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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