So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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