My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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