You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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