my phone needs a breathalizer
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
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