the day after is always just damage control
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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