I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
