I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize