Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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