I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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