i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
