Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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