He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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