I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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