I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
