Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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