Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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