when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
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I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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