Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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