I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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