It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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