This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
