The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
