Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
