I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Enjoy the penises
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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