I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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