just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
