I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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