My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
