I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
