I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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