Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize